Guidelines for Parents of Adolescent Males

• Rethink absolute prohibition and instead advocate for responsible use. However, if you must establish a single rule, let it be this: “Never, ever experiment with meth, crack, or heroin. Not ever, not ever, not ever. Defining how these drugs irreparably alter your dopamine receptors (if you need to learn about that first yourself, do).
• It’s important to pick your battles. Complaining to a friend about someone else’s hair or jeans (hello, bum crack!) is a pretty low-stakes form of self-actualization.
• They will be out late one night in the car, and you will hear the distant wail of an ambulance. Stop the pounding of your heart.
• You can sneak a whiff of their head’s still-enticing scent by pretending to tie your shoe and leaning in close.
• When you lie in bed at night and mentally go through the house looking for potential sources of stress, you won’t have to look any further than your son’s bed, room, and house. Furthermore, you will always remember how grateful you were. Since eventually he will grow up and move out, leaving behind a boy-shaped hole in your heart and a memory foam mattress topper and a set of twin XL sheets.
• Know that they will always find their way back to you, whether it be physically or emotionally. If and when they do, don’t be afraid to welcome them with open arms and a bursting heart. With arms and legs flung wide.

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